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Joke of the Day

"lady at table behind me: sometimes babies get gassy. they can't burp so they get mad and cry me, turning around angrily: its not JUST babies"

"OWNER: The museum's ready? ME: All the artichokes are in place OWNER: Ha, you mean artifacts [I slam the door shut] ME: U cannot go in there"

"AMA Request: Kim Davis. I would like to hear her answer this question, for she seems uniquely qualified to do so: If a man and woman from Kentucky get a divorce, are they still brother and sister?"

"What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair."

"Whats blue and doesn't fit anymore A dead epileptic"

"Why do artists never win when they play football ? They keep drawing !"

"I screamed a Brazilian times during that waxing."

"How does our solar system organize a party? They Planet"

"People are like snowflakes: I can't talk to them."

"Why are quantum physicists the kinkiest of all scientists? They have the ability to penetrate both holes at the same time. [explanation](http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slit_experiment)"