139951

Joke of the Day

"lady at table behind me: sometimes babies get gassy. they can't burp so they get mad and cry me, turning around angrily: its not JUST babies"

"May you always be the one looking confused standing in the back of a group selfie"

"What do you call it when homeless people have sexual relations? Hoboerotic"

"Have you heard of the new crime drama involving a rich dinner party? It's called Law and Hors D'oeuvres."

"I wish all tests were things you peed on"

"Why is Facebook such a hit? It works on the principle that People are more interested in others life than their own'."

"People who say ""I hate to bother you"" need to learn to hate it a little bit more."

"Just ate so much burrito that halfway through, I couldn't remember a time when I wasn't eating a burrito"

"My wife cheated on me after I told her about my watchmaker buddy... I guess I should get a big clock, too."

"i don't always add and multiply, just sum times"