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Joke of the Day

"A guy on Catfish dated a girl for 4 years despite only seeing ONE picture of her. I wouldn't buy a futon on Craigslist with only one pic."

"A black man goes into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder... The bartender looks at the parrot and says, ""Wow! That's a beauty. Where'd you get him?"" The parrot replies, ""Africa""."

"Why is today John Philip Sousa Day? Because he told everyone to march fourth."

"We're probably missing out on a lot of good candy by stereotyping creepy people who have white vans with tinted windows who give free candy."

"The Water Board sent me a notice saying that my bill was a year old, I obviously apologised for forgetting, and sent them a birthday card."

"An unemployed engineer gets lost while going to a job interview at the navy base Woops, wrong sub."

"What do you call women who are faster than me? Virgins. Sorry if it's a repost, I'm fairly new here."

"So I talkedto a gender studies graduate the other day. I told her I wanted a #1 combo with no tomatos or onions."

"My wife's cock crazy... Two licks then she goes nuts."

"Yelp review: Excellent food, friendly service. That said, I did notice a smudge on a window and was forced to set the building on fire"