13981

Joke of the Day

"An old favorite I just remembered What the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick down your throat."

"I just got a part in a movie about dog walking I'm playing the lead"

"I went to band camp and all I got was... This shirt that said: I'll Allegro your vibrato!"

"I remain convinced that the only people who can gracefully sprint in stilettos are prostitutes."

"Lawyer: ""Let me give you my honest opinion."" Client: ""No no. I'm paying for professional advice."""

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup! Couldn't be sir. The cook used them all in the raisin bread."

"Sexting gone wrong I accidentally sent a picture of my dick to everyone in my address book today. Not only was it really embarrassing, it cost me a fortune in stamps."

"I have been looking back at history. And Im starting to think, Hitler was the brains but Eva was the braun."

"How do you make a pheromone? Drive her sarcophagus down a gravel road."

"I've got a new habit. And a naked dead nun."