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Joke of the Day
"I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead."
Next Joke
"""What time do I get off?"" has an entirely different meaning when you work in the sex industry."
"You've got to hand it to little babies because their stupid little arms can't reach anything"
"My friend died from heart burn the other day. My friend Gavin was killed by a terrible case of heart burn yesterday. I can't fucking believe Gavisgone."
"Why do pencils shave? To look sharp"
"You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts."
"*Takes off clothes *Enters meeting room naked *Coworkers gasp in horror *Slowly backs out of room [whispers] ""you said debriefing"""
"What do you call a scary bee? A boo bee."
"[Target cashier stares at my fingerless gloves] Ah, couldn't help notice you were admiring my hand vests."
"Someone stole my mood ring the other day... I still don't know how I feel about it"