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Joke of the Day

"My friend died from heart burn the other day. My friend Gavin was killed by a terrible case of heart burn yesterday. I can't fucking believe Gavisgone."

"*requests to be buried in jaws of T-Rex skeleton so it looks like I went out fighting*"

"An Australian man wakes up in the hospital... ... he says, ""Doctor, was I brought here to die?"" The doctor replies, ""No, you were brought here yester-die"""

"I once dated a girl who had 12 nipples. Sounds pretty crazy, dozentit?"

"An American tourist found himself in a sleepy country village and asked one of the locals the age of the oldest inhabitant. ""Well sir"" replied the villager ""we ain't got one now. He died last week."""

"They laughed at me when I said I will become a comedian Well...now they are not. Wait..."

"What is the worst kind of vegetable to run a country? A penis shaped potato. Its a dick-tater."

"Catwoman's full name is Catherine Woman."

"Please stop looking so hot, I'm trying to stop liking you."

"This may be a bit messed up. If you eat one thing a lot, people tend to joke that you'll ""become it"". I used to eat vegetables. Guess what I became."