139378

Joke of the Day

"Marriage Counseling Therapist: So you're considering ending the marriage? Wife: I am sick of all the Star Wars puns. Husband: Divorce is strong with this one."

"Job interview: ""What's your greatest weakness?"" ""Honesty."" ""I don't think honesty is a weakness."" ""I don't give a fuck what you think."""

"Me: I'm updating my fitness app. Is bowling a sport? Him: You didn't bowl. You kept score. Me: Is score-keeping for bowling a sport?"

"How did the hour and minute hands of the clock get cancer? Second hand smoking! My own joke that I've been meaning to put up for a while. Time to see how it goes haha."

"There are some days when I just really do not want to wake up early and go to work. I call these days Monday Friday."

"A little bit of racism Scientists have found that your fingerprints may indicate that you are black or white. For example, if your fingerprints were found at the crime scene, you're probably black."

"10 Ways to cut down on clickbait! Does anyone know?"

"You can just lean against anything, look down at your phone and toggle between your 1st and 2nd page of apps and you'll look pretty popular."

"What will men do if women become extinct? Domesticate another animal."

"You guys wanna see something cool? http://www.fda.gov/ucm/groups/fdagov-public/documents/image/ucm197598.bmp"