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Joke of the Day

"Never gonna invite Jesus for another bondage party Last time around, he forgot his safe word and we had to bury his sorry ass."

"What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine."

"I worked a 10-hour day today... Sounds impressive to non-programmers who don't know binary."

"Q: A word that defines ""a quick, clever reply to an insult or criticism."" Sorry, this was ""a riposte""."

"Darwin is a genius. Just realized I'm attracted to women in glasses because I'm more likely to reproduce with a woman who can't see me well."

"""Bear with me for a minute."" - Russian guy providing an airtight alibi for his criminal bear friend."

"Meanwhile at the drugstore... What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication? You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist."

"No, I don't want to ""Like"" your business on Facebook. I barely ""Like"" you."

"My printer has a drug problem And it just can't stop!"

"Why do churches ban Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible power that actually exists"