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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to name my dog ""Syndrome"". Whenever he jumps on someone, I can yell, ""Down Syndrome!""."

"What do you feed a fat vampire? One stake should be enough"

"My dick was once in the Guinness book of World Records. Then the librarian told me to take it out."

"I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, clothe, school, and inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there."

"my gf is like x of sin(2x)=0 she's irrational when she's on her period"

"How many computer programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that's a hardware issue."

"My wife must be the slowest reader ever. I bought her a Kindle last Christmas and she still hasn't finished it."

"What's the difference between a necrophiliac and someone with a granny fetish? A couple of weeks"

"""A smile is like tight underwear...it makes your cheeks go up."

"[on a speed date] *2 min long fart* ""It was nice meeting you."""