13945
Joke of the Day
"Ask me if I'm a tree. ""Ok, are you a tree?"" No"
Next Joke
"Have you ever smelt moth balls before? Isn't it hard to pull their little legs apart?"
"20 yrs from now they'll make a movie on how Leonardo DeCaprio never won an Oscar. Plot twist the actor playing him wins an Oscar."
"How do cops get rid of flies? They call in a S.W.A.T. team"
"A breakfast buffet at my funeral so people will be happy. But with soy bacon and chia seed pancakes so they know it's a time to grieve."
"Once I was Walking And I kept Walking :p That's all how are doing today ? What' time is it at your house ? Are you married ?"
"Chuck Norris won an award today Kanye West sat politely in his seat."
"1995: one day the Internet will allow all people access to the full breadth of human knowledge. 2016: *watching cat videos*"
"Thanks for saying 'on your mobile' in your bio, for a moment I thought you might be tweeting like me, from a calculator in the psych ward"
"What's the worst thing about being a paedophile? I guess, just trying to fit in."