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Joke of the Day

"Fool me once... Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thirty five thousand six hundred times, shame on the weatherman."

"What's it called when Obama and Paul Ryan meet up for dinner? A government mandate."

"Why are test tube manufacturers always single? People just seem to find them vial!"

"Women that date guys with bad grammar are the goodest."

"How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowplow? Give her a shovel."

"What do you call a cow with Parkinson's? Beef jerky"

"I'm not allowed to have any energy drinks until all the cat's hair grows back."

"What do you call an anorexic blonde with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese !"

"""Count down to zero silently with your fingers and then do a fist pump."" - SWAT manual on breaking down doors"

"Does anybody know any jokes about salt? Na"