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Joke of the Day

"A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman ""Can I park here?"" ""No"" says the cop. ""What about all these other cars?"" ""They didn't ask!"""

"Why did the fetus kill his twin? There wasn't enough womb for the two of them!"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay to see a lentil."

"Today's ebonic word is: ""OMELETTE"" Let us use it in a sentence. I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide."

"You know you're on Twitter too much when you start learning the news from the jokes."

"A PIECE OF ADVICE Never play leapfrog with a unicorn."

"[Interrogation room] Good cop: ""Confess and we will go easy on you"" Sweet tooth cop: ""You bes- *hears music* -ICE CREAM MAN!"" *runs outside*"

"What happens when you give an Italian a coupon? It makes the Dego buy faster."

"""My brother's coming over for dinner."" Ugh, is he still talking only in country names? *brother walks in* ""Chad Hungary. Jamaica Turkey?"""

"I'm making a graph of my past relationships... I have an 'ex'-axis and a 'why?'-axis."