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Joke of the Day

"Economical way of having a family Just rent a partner whenever you need, and buy a second-hand baby."

"I woke this morning to find Mr.Mittens on the bed staring at me with a look that said 'You're a mouth breather, and I'll never respect you'"

"Lee: I just swallowed a fish bone! Counselor: Are you choking? Lee: No I'm serious!"

"Are you a romantic man? Yes. When my wife comes home late, I turn on the candles, let the place fill up with nice and warm water and throw in some soap. So she can immediately start doing the dishes."

"What's the difference between Rutgers and Rikers? One turns young people into horrible human beings and the other is jail."

"Its only the three cats that are still undefeated in the NFL regular season The Bengals, The Panthers, and The Cheetahs!"

"ok guys the gofundme I set up to hire a hitman to kill me is already at 3x its goal you can stop contributing"

"Why are the best bellydancers all Arabs? Because they can sheik it."

"What's the best part of punching a tranny in the face? You get the pleasure of punching a woman but with none of the guilt!"

"What is love? Those who play with it call it a game. Those who don't have it call it a dream. And me, I call it you."