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Joke of the Day

"Do hipster chicks wear sweatpants that say ""DRY"" on the butt?"

"I learned mathematical fractions from a drug dealer. He said if I don't pay $4,000 in 7 days, I'll lose 3 fingers."

"Why are black people so tall? Because their kneegrows"

"You should skydive without a parachute. It's a once in a lifetime experience."

"almost called my teacher ""mom,"" but I caught myself after ""mo"" and added an ""n."" I had to pretend I was Jamaican for the rest of the year."

"Girls with huge boobs will never know if they're really interesting."

"Everybody knows about Trumps reality show, ""the Apprentice."" But, did you know about Hillary's show? ""the Biggest Loser."""

"Two Calamari Two calamari walk into a pub. Bartender asks, ""What'll ya have?"" ""We'll have a Hurricane and a Sex On the Beach"" says squid A. Bartender pauses and says, ""That'll be three squid then."""

"My missus hates it when I put her chocolate bars in other chocolate bar wrappers. It gets her Snickers in a Twix."

"Last night, my Chevy was bitten by a vampire. Now it's Vlad the Impala."