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Joke of the Day
"I farted in the Apple store and everyone got pissed at me. Not my fault they don't have Windows."
Next Joke
"Ladies, if you give men a choice between two things we'll pick the first. We stopped listening and didn't hear the second."
"A Muslim, an idiot, and a communist walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hello Mr.President."""
"Where does a Sith Lord do their shopping? The Maul."
"Worst Geometry Joke I Know When does a Pentagon have only 4 sides? When it is intercepted by a plane."
"NOTHING says ""I am batshit, incapable of relationships, bad with money & cannot be trusted"" like colored contact lenses."
"You know you're getting old when your decision to sleep with someone is mostly based on the quality of their mattress and pillows."
"What does an egg do for fun? Kari - YOKE - ee *Ha Ha Ha*"
"What's that, turkey? GOBBLE GOBBLE Timmy fell in a well? GOBBLE GOBBLE [breaks turkey's neck] no time for your riddles, in the oven you go"
"How come when a woman is pregnant, people rub her tummy...? How come when a woman is pregnant, people rub her tummy and say, ""Congratulations"" but no one rubs the guy's balls and says ""Good job""?!"