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Joke of the Day

"I farted in the Apple store and everyone got pissed at me. Not my fault they don't have Windows."

"Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn has gotten off pretty lucky... The last German who tried to gas that many people had to commit suicide!"

"What's more fun than swinging a dead baby by a string? Stopping it with a shovel!"

"Do you know why W. S. Gilbert was frequently drunk on his Trans-Atlantic crossings? Because he was quartered on the port side."

"So I was in the library the other day... My black friend comes over and ask me where the color printers were at. I looked up and said ""it's 2015 man you can use whatever printer you want""."

"Who won the animal race? The giraffe and the aardvark were running neck and neck but the aardvark won by a nose!"

"You see me driving 'round town with your Alzheimer's mom and she's like, forget you."

"Crikey, more sad news from the world of technology: Anti-virus developer John McAfee is appearing in court for manslaughter... They estimate the trial could last for 30 days."

"Blacks the best colour to wear to a funeral isn't it? Just thinking which rollerblades to wear."

"Geppetto: Whew it's a cold one. Pinocchio: Mhmm. G: Fire's running low. P: Mhmm. G: Wonder *sharpens axe* where I could get some wood."