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Joke of the Day

"FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: ""Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"""

"What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese phone call."

"Why couldn't Marco Rubio register on a web forum? The website required him to prove that he is not a robot."

"My boss hates it when I shorten his name to ""Dick"". Especially since his name is Steve."

"Russia will eat Turkey for thanksgiving this year."

"How can you tell when a woman has an orgasm? Who the hell cares?"

"Lunatic escapes from an asylum, goes to a launderette where he rapes three women before running off into the woods. Next morning's newspaper headlines read.... # **NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**"

"I really admire people who can joke about themselves so I made up this joke....It starts ""I have Alzheimer's ..."

"What kind of sex toys do terrorists prefer? Blow up dolls."

"What's the last thing they do to a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll before it leaves the factory? Give it two test-tickles!"