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Joke of the Day

"I really admire people who can joke about themselves so I made up this joke....It starts ""I have Alzheimer's ..."

"A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it."

"How many Firefly fans does it take to change a light bulb? They wouldn't. They'd rather spend a decade bitching about how it went out."

"How many political idealists does it take to change a light bulb? None, political idealists can't change anything."

"Where will everyone be sitting at Carrie Fisher's funeral Pew Pew Pew"

"If life gives you melons... get a good sports bra."

"How do you kill Donald Trump? You gotta guess for this one hint: it's in the name? It's a TRUMPet"

"Men are like soap operas. They're fun to watch but don't believe everything you hear."

"My mom told me not to kill the spider but to take it out... so I did, we had a few drinks, top lad he is..currently working as a web designer."

"What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish."