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Joke of the Day

"(NSFW) What's the difference between Jam and Jelly ...You can't jelly your dick down a girls throat"

"Right now Chuck Norris' pumpkin is carving itself"

"[1st day in heaven] God: Welcome! Have a taco and a shot of tequila. Do you like music? Me: Yeah. G: How about a little, *giggles* Nirvana?"

"I wish there was a Mormon version of The Bachelor. That way none of the women would have to be eliminated."

"How many racecar drivers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's impossible, they only know how to turn to the left."

"Nobody under the age of 23 has any recollection of life before the internet. I hope that fact makes you vomit like it did me."

"Did you hear about the antennas that got married? The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent."

"Hellen of troy, the face that launched a thousand ships... ...And the ass that docked them."

"What has six eyes, four wings and eight legs? Two chickens and a goat."

"I tried cooking with wine tonight, after five glasses, I forgot why I was even in the kitchen"