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Joke of the Day
"My husband told me I had to choose between him and the cats. I miss him sometimes."
Next Joke
"Maybe It's You The debut album from the literal chorus of Taylor Swift exes. Available for download from iTunes soon."
"Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes."
"There are 2 types of people in this world: Those who pee in the shower... And stinkin' LIARS!"
"How do you stop an alien invasion? You build a wall."
"Why is a good hooker like a skilled carpenter? No wood gets wasted."
"After months of practice, I can finally touch my toes. (By telling them that they are beautiful.)"
"Server: Want one of our famous milkshakes? Me: Well, I saw your yard and it was empty. Server: Huh? Me: No boys. Server: Huh? Me: No thanks."
"What does the scientist say when asked if Invisibility Cloak will be applicated by the military? Yes, but you won't see it any time soon."
"What the best thing about pedophiles? They always drive slowly near schools"