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Joke of the Day

"Do you like water? Yes? Well, then you already like 60% to 70% of me."

"This DLC is getting out of hand... The DVLA want me to pay 60 to add three points to my driving license, because I beat my high score!"

"PROPOSAL: Rebrand shootings as ""late-term abortion."" Watch the GOP scramble to stop them."

"Typical Liberal media: the Chilean miners have had 69 PAID days off work with their mates & now they're ""heroes"". #GetBackToWork"

"How do you get to Carnegie Hall? take a taxi"

"What happens when a bunch of ferrets get together? None of your business."

"If used correctly, Twitter can be used as an antidepressant. Just don't take it as a suppository."

"At the dinner table.. Dad: So how's college these days, kid? what classes are you taking? Kid: Intro to linguistics. Ugh, it's a shitty course. Dad: Language!"

"what do you call a prosecutor on a rape case? a cosby sweater."

"Looking to find a way to say ""I'm not mad at you"" without actual human communication? Try a Facebook Like today!"