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Joke of the Day

"It's called a ""remote"" because those are your odds of finding it when you want to change the channel."

"How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you can throw them"

"What did the Amish IT guy say about the computer? It was a bit buggy."

"Why can't ISIS members go fuck themselves? Because sex with animals is haram."

"Why did the cow tip over? Excellent service."

"[Spelling bee, to clench victory] ""O,P... (hesitates) A,W,E,S,O,M,E."" Judges? (Opossum judges whispering for a bit) Correct."

"[gathers around casket and see's it's full of gatorade] uh oh, then that means [grandma's body is being dumped over the winning coach]"

"Mahogany was competing with oak and maple in the wood election. Nobody got a majority in the electric collage. However, oak narrowly beat out maple in the poplar vote."

"Why does a man only get half-hour lunch-breaks? So his boss doesn't have to retrain him."

"I have a serious salad problem... ...it needs a dressing."