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Joke of the Day

"Honey I Shrunk the Kids IV: They shrink everyone on earth on purpose The planet will never run out of resources Everyone is eaten by ants"

"When do women get to climb the corporate ladder? When it's time to clean the glass ceiling."

"Appendi Appendii Appendiii Appendiv Appendv Appendvi Appendvii Appendviii Appendix"

"White people are only thinking about one of 5 things at any given moment: 1. skiing 2. sadness 3. edamame 4. revenge 5. Greek yogurt."

"My dogs are barking a lot lately but I think it is because their performance appraisals are coming up"

"I don't make spelling and grammatical errors I invent new languages. You ignorant Count."

"""Hi, I'm Justin Timberlake."" *notices that he's actually a large body of salt water, not fresh water* ""Nice try, Mr. Timberocean."""

"How do you get three drunk, rowdy Canadians out of a pool? Ask them to get out of the pool."

"What did the boys do ToGetHer? Roam And Tick things.."

"What's cold and comes in April? Her dad."