139072

Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. They can't change anything."

"Materialism: buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that don't matter."

"There was a black-out in my city last night. The police said stay in doors until they shot him."

"What type of pants do Japanese people wear? Nihon-jeans (Nihon-jin)"

"Accidentally put Red Bull in my coffee maker this morning. I was going 130 mph down the interstate when I realized that I forgot my car."

"[creating foxes] GOD: make it orange & give it a fat tail ANGEL: ok... GOD: and make it sneaky ANGEL: you sure? GOD: yeah... real sneaky"

"I'm thinking of becoming a gynecologist....i hear there's plenty of openings."

"It's all fun and games until someone from real life recognizes you and you realize you're too small to drag off the body."

"My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well actually he said ""less McDonald's"" but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant"

"[Trying to impress a girl on a date] Me: ""Not to brag but I'm getting Windows 10 for free."""