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Joke of the Day

"Accidentally put Red Bull in my coffee maker this morning. I was going 130 mph down the interstate when I realized that I forgot my car."

"According to movie trailers, 98% of white kids are possessed by the devil."

"I saw this dude trying to pick up a girl. Him: I would tell you a joke about about my penis, but its too long. Her: LOL, that's funny. I wanna tell you one about my vagina, but you'll never get it."

"What's the difference between my virginity and the Apple Airphones? Losing my virginity wouldn't cost me as much."

"What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint"

"""You're going to love my friend. He's hilarious."" is still the best way to know you're about to meet an annoying person."

"Did you hear Ant Man will be in Captain America 3? I hear it will be a small role"

"A TV weatherman who keeps accidentally calling the anchorwoman mom"

"Did you hear about the guy who died while digging a hole for a coffin? It was a grave excavation."

"Past, Present and Future walk into a bar... It was tense."