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Joke of the Day
"Did you know Donald Trump only had two moods? Pissed off and pissed on."
Next Joke
"What is the difference between a baby and a feminist? The baby grows up and learns to stop crying."
"""Oh, you decided to close your bedroom door with me on the outside? Allow me to sing you the song of my people."" -my cat"
"What caused ""The Black Death""? The police."
"Pretty cute that my husband wanted to role-play that I was his maid and then not break character for 14 years."
"Just shook a piece of cellophane off my finger and now I'm exhausted."
"Girl, if you got any hotter you'd be so earth-shatteringly hot the ground would split & we'd burn to death in molten lava. That would suck."
"""I have no advice. I can't talk! I am a building."" -Prison advice"
"Remember kids -- it may be illegal to text and drive; but you can still lawfully handwrite someone a heartfelt letter at 50mph."
"The airline managed to lose the in-laws luggage, but not the in-laws. *sigh*"