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Joke of the Day
"""your whole family suffers from chronic constipation?!"" no shit."
Next Joke
"Any time someone tells you they're ""about 20 minutes away"" they're lying. They haven't left yet."
"What do you call a roman emperor with epilepsy? Julius Seizure"
"If you see me in court you'd think I was furiously taking notes, but 9 times out of 10, I'm usually drawing a t-rex eating a witness."
"Xanax, keeping moms from dropping their kids off at an orphanage since 1981."
"Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident and called from the hospital about the four casts."
"Server: Would you like another glass of wine? Me: I'm sorry, I don't have time Server: For the wine? Me: No, for silly questions"
"Two gay guys are sleeping... Facing each other.. One of them says to the other, ""Are you angry with me?"""
"You know you where drunk last night when you realise you cooked your pizza for 200 minutes at 18 degrees"
"What did the olive say to the drink. Olive you."