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Joke of the Day

"Bad timing for an excuse Teacher: Why were you late? Pupil: Sorry teacher I overslept. Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!"

"""Don't ask for my opinion then. I said congrats on the car, just saying nobody's panties are getting wet from a fucking Honda Accord."""

"What's the strongest muscle on a pig? The hamstring."

"Drumpf's presidential campaign in reverse: an increasingly laughable story of an egomaniac running for an office he couldn't possibly win"

"If I own a gym my employees will be required to intermittently pester you. If you don't like it don't come to Jehovah's Fitness."

"""There won't be humans in 500 years. Enough people choke themselves when they jerk off we gave it a name. We ain't a species made to last."""

"I got this Jewish girl's number She rolled her sleeve up"

"what do you call a deaf Gorilla? Anything you like he cannot hear you"

"I've always wondered why Rolf Harris never played any string instruments But I guess he figured out other ways to finger a minor"

"How come computers are soo smart? It is because they listen to their motherboard."