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Joke of the Day

"I scream. You scream. We all scream. We're being chased by bears. Life is a nightmare."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Well it don't matter i ain't coming anyway!"

"My friend was quite a colorful character... His name was Hugh"

"Ugh. New Year's Eve is just around the corner and I STILL haven't picked out which gang sign I'm going to hold up in photos"

"What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter."

"Three women are sitting at a bar talking about how loose they are... One can fit in a sausage, one can fit in a cucumber and the third one just slides down onto the bar stool."

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers"

"Three blondes walked into a building you'd think one of them would have seen it..."

"Dating a single mother is like continuing from somebody else's saved game."

"What fruit can't get married? CANTELOPE"