23500

Joke of the Day

"Ugh. New Year's Eve is just around the corner and I STILL haven't picked out which gang sign I'm going to hold up in photos"

"you know what really turns on a nerd? unprotected wifi"

"How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the empire state building? About 16 seconds"

"Ah Twitter, never have so many said so much that mattered so little to so few."

"Now imagine how close together the presidents' bodies are, under their Mount Rushmore heads."

"You can tell a lot about a person by autopsy."

"someone brought a box of lemons to work and emailed out saying ""there's lemons"" and now every one has a lemon on their desk. why"

"What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A brunette with bad breath."

"So my dog is named Lucky... and sometimes he escapes from our house, so we have to go get lucky. And sometimes it'll be dark out, we'll be up all night to get lucky."

"What do Australians call the state in which Sydney is located? (nsfw) New South Fucking Wales"