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Joke of the Day

"What did the Easter egg say to the boiling water? Its gonna take a while to get me hard, I just got laid by some chick."

"Remember where to put your commas kids... There's a big difference between helping your old uncle Jack, off his horse..."

"Coma's can really change the meaning of a sentence... For instance: * Hillary is in a hurry. * Hillary is in a coma."

"Want to hear a construction joke? I'm still working on it."

"Husband has fake roaches that he sets up around the house to scare the shit out of me 24/7. I'm putting out positive pregnancy tests. HA."

"When does a Cub become a Boy-Scout? When he eats his first Brownie"

"[introducing you to my family] ""this is my son Carson, my daughter Boatdaughter, & our dog Motorcyclepet"""

"What's a dog's favorite mode of transportation? A waggin'"

"A dog walks into a bar and says I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

"Freedom of expression is great... I can make a kissy face, smiley face or a frowny face, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it"