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Joke of the Day
"I would never let my kids go see an orchestra... Too much sax and violins."
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"Damn girl, are you a pig? Because your mother looks like a pig. Because you look damn hot bacon in the Sun. Because I want to stuff you like Thanksgiving dinner. . . . More suggestions appreciated"
"West Coast problems If you meet a vegan, and they do crossfit, which do they talk about first?"
"There's a secret evolution of Eevee I found today. If you pay your Eevee every day for at least a month, it evolves into Patreon."
"Why was the Energizer Bunny tried in court? He was charged with battery."
"I wonder if a ghost has ever watched me masturbate."
"I like my women like I like my fish Battered,chopped up, and stored in the freezer."
"What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist? An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47."
"Oral exam A mother asks her son how the oral exam was. Son: ""Pious."" Mother: ""What do you mean?"" S: ""The professor asks a question, I cross myself. I give him an answer, he crosses himself."""
"The Chipotle I went to apologized for not having any lettuce today. I said ""It's cute that you think I'm here for that."""