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Joke of the Day
"What vegetable likes to party? A turn-up"
Next Joke
"Norm Macdonald tells a good joke http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGr_7p5Ti0Q"
"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? (slightly NSFW) A pickpocket snatches watches."
"What's the difference between a joke on Reddit and a joke on 9Gag? One was posted yesterday and the other's already been posted."
"So they told me I couldn't live in the gym but I told them... Squatters' rights."
"Damn girl are you Schrodinger's cat cos you're in a box and all these nerds are talking about you? Sir have some respect this is a funeral."
"What is the difference between a hormone and a enzyme ? You can't hear an enzyme."
"Did you hear about the woman who had to quit her job as an air traffic controller to date a monk? She got out of the flying plans and into the friar."
"Things I haven't seen in a while: 1) the 2yo I'm babysitting today 2) a man 3) my waist-line 4) my imaginary goat, Bill 5) my sanity"
"I was dating a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes I've just found out she's popped her clogs..."