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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear they found the body of the guy that leaked the Jennifer Lawrence nudes? They say he's the first person ever to be hi-fived to death."

"If Leonardo da Vinci posted the Mona Lisa on Instagram today, it would get 30 likes, tops."

"Angry Stair Why was the stair frustrated and angry? It was tired of being stepped on by everyone!"

"What's got four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a preschool."

"[At Mexican Restaurant] Me:asks for food to be spicy hot Waitress: how hot? Me: Waitress:my people hot or your people hot"

"*flags down police car* how many mpg does this thing get?"

"What does a piano, a tuna and a pot of glue have in common? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

"*experiences all five stages of grief while the waiter walks by my table with what I thought was my dinner*"

"Pretty nice 7 mile run, and I don't even care that that woman passed me because her cane was like a whole extra leg that never gets tired."

"How many Christians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But only for procreation."