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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear they found the body of the guy that leaked the Jennifer Lawrence nudes? They say he's the first person ever to be hi-fived to death."

"'I've been expecting you, Mr. Bond.' - James Bond's mother giving birth"

"I'm NOT flirting!! its called BEING NICE!"

"I tried to go into a restaurant playing Pokemon go. I couldn't get in though. The servers were too busy."

"A man calls his family doctor: man: Doctor for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit. doctor: Ok bring her in and I'll try to help. man: Fine but whatever you do don't cure her."

"Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother? For smoking in bed."

"What is the difference between a laddie and a lady? One has a d where the other doesn't."

"Why can't black people swim? Because the cops will arrest them"

"My favorite part of church is when they pass around free money."

"""Excuse me, do you validate parking?"" I sure do, champ. *kisses your forehead* Your parking is second to none."