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Joke of the Day

"WHY DOES THIS BOTTLE OF BODY WASH HAVE DIRECTIONS PRINTED ON IT"

"Straight girls are like spaghetti... Only straight until they get wet."

"I hear the moon is a pretty boring place... There's absolutely no atmosphere"

"How does Frankenstein sit in his chair? Bolt upright."

"Is it possible for God to be a Cheeto Puffed? Because these taste pretty fucking great. EDIT: I'm getting downvoted but figure this is the reddit algorithm! cheeky cunts"

"A dung beetle walks into a bar And asks the bartender, ""Is this stool taken?"""

"13 Types of Regret You'll Experience After Clicking on a Link to an Article That Won't Live Up to its Exaggerated Headline"

"For 20 years, I've pretended to be the head of propaganda at my company. I'm not really, I just tell everyone I am and they believe me."

"Sir, on a scale of 1 to drunk, where would you say you stand? I'll sit"

"As I was leaving the club last night . . . . . . A male stripper suggestively swiveled his banana hammock in my direction. I'm flattered, but it was still kind of a dick move."