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Joke of the Day
"If his selfie doesn't make you kegal, you're just not that into him."
Next Joke
"What do call it when actor Charles Dance tries to flirt? Dance moves."
"What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller."
"What do you call an incredibly well-dressed punk? The Speaker of the House"
"Sometimes I wish I was like my calendar, it always has dates."
"What lies on its back, 100 feet in the air? A dead centipede."
"Patient just told me a joke yesterday When you are driving though the field in Texas, you see a lot of cattle. They are very special. Wanna know why? They are out standing in the field"
"I run a suicide hotline. A guy called me once, told me I had 60 seconds to convince him not to jump off his balcony on the 41st floor. He must've confused me with the *anti*-suicide hotline."
"My wife and I have agreed on a trial separation. The kids aren't to keen, but my wife and I just don't want them anymore."
"I like this time of year because I can dig graves in my front yard and people think it's just a cute Halloween display"