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Joke of the Day

"If I have trouble finding an arm hole while putting on a dress shirt, I imagine I'm rehearsing for my show ""Damien Fahey: Shitty Magician""."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I've never had garbanzo bean on my face."

"How many politicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You hold the lightbulb and every politician screws you!"

"So a lady walks into a bar and orders a double entendre... ...and the bartender gives it to her."

"Q: What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains? A: Patty O'Furniture."

"What did Donald Duck say to Goofy? I Fucked your Dad !! Lol !!"

"What's worse than your mother-in-law? My mother-in-law."

"What's in a tweet? That which you call your bowel movement, by any other tweet is still an odious hot mess."

"If a mentally challenged midget is late to an appointment... ... can you justifiably call them ""a little tardy""?"

"TIL Bill Cosby was staunchly against the laugh track on ""The Cosby Show."" But the studio didn't know what Bill meant by ""snore track."""