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Joke of the Day

"So a dyslexic man walks into a rab."

"Ferguson shoe store broken into and looted everything but the work boots section."

"dad: I can't find my glasses, can you read what this says for me? me: ""Dad do you want to go to Home Depot"" dad: [voice catching] Sure son"

"I fell off a forty foot ladder today.... lucky I was on the bottom rung."

"I'm a leader, not a follower... Unless it's into a dark place, then screw that, you're going first."

"i don't know why people think women are weak... well hell pots and pans are heavy"

"To the rooster goes the spoils.. indeed"

"[Barber gets out a small mirror to show an owl the back of its head] Owl: No I got it *rotates* Owl: Wait where'd it- *rotates* Owl: Ok help"

"Hey have you ever tried puppy love? Yeah but it doesn't work there assholes are too small."

"What gas do snails prefer? Shell."