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Joke of the Day
"What do you call an Italian reggae enthusiast? A pastafarian"
Next Joke
"My first subtweet was in the 3rd grade when I added extra glitter to Nathan's Valentine."
"Why was the ocean embarrassed? Because all the fish could see his bottom."
"How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan? You take away its tiny brooms."
"A penguin walks into a bar... He goes up to the barman and says, ""Have you seen my father in here today?"" The barman says, ""I don't know, what does he look like?"""
"Bunny The energizer bunny just got arested for battery."
"Yay summer! *gets drunk outside* Yay winter! *gets drunk inside*"
"Father wakes up his son and asks him a question. What has 4 legs and isn't alive? It's a chair dad... Why are you bothering me with this?! No Jimmy, it's your dog..."
"mad props to my friends from high school who are successfully balancing raising a baby and constantly posting someecards on facebook"
"What does the sterile man say when asked if he's gonna get neutered? Vas the deferens?"