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Joke of the Day

"MOVIES: Ok, time for bed kiddo. *child kisses parents and goes to bed MY HOUSE: Time for bed. *mixed martial acrobatics is now a sport"

"there is something good about pedophiles... ...they make a kick-ass cocoa!"

"Why aren't there any ""old husband tales""? There are. They just get re-branded as ""logic"" and ""the truth""."

"So much to say. So not drunk enough to say it."

"If somebody's presence does not add value to your life..Then their absence should make no difference!"

"What's the difference between feminists and Nazis? The Nazis had a purpose"

"Shopping with friend ""Look, triangle-shaped tupperware for your leftover pizza!"" Me: ""What's leftover pizza?"

"What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant."

"How do stones stop moths eating your clothes ? Because rolling stones gather no moths !"

"It's funny how the Chinese are competing to win back medals they probably made a month ago!"