138356

Joke of the Day

"if you have a favorite tetris block that isn't the 4x1 long piece, you're a fucking contrarian idiot asshole and i hate you"

"Did you recently date Taylor Swift, only to be dumped and have a song written about you? You may be entitled to compensation. Call now."

"Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff? tequila"

"I dont care about all the ISIS jokes They all blow up."

"A Polar Bear walks into a bar... ... he says to the server, ""Hello, I'd like some fish and chips.."" The server says, ""We don't serve polar bear here."" The Polar Bear says, ""Oh Thank God."""

"Your girl's legs are like McDonalds breakfast....... OPEN 24/7 EDIT: Replaced pants with legs"

"*Unplugs your smart car to charge phone"

"Religion is like a man's penis. It's okay to have one, it's fine to be proud of it, but don't go around shoving it in people's faces and jamming it down children's throats."

"Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone."

"What's E.T. short for? Cos he's only got little legs"