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Joke of the Day

"A Polar Bear walks into a bar... ... he says to the server, ""Hello, I'd like some fish and chips.."" The server says, ""We don't serve polar bear here."" The Polar Bear says, ""Oh Thank God."""

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"When does a bed grow longer? At night because two feet are added to it."
"I knew you would come crawling back to me. Shut up and give me back the wheelchair."
"The penis mightier than the sword. haha penis."
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"Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, ""I need your weight not your phone number"""
"""Your word is their..."" ""Your word is their,"" said the spelling bee judge. The contestant, confused, asked for a sentence. ""They're looking for their dog over there,"" replied the judge."
"Remember, when someone calls you mean... just tell them that you prefer the term average."
"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, what happens in Japan stays in Japan Until she turns 18, that is."
"whats a ghost's favorite fruit? booberries!"