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Joke of the Day

"I clicked ""Going"" on a Facebook event last week but now I feel like staying in... *masked tough guys throw me in a van* ""You committed, pal"""

"I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar."

"""Boob"" The word ""Boob"" is the Perfect word. The B looks like a top view of them, the 2 Os look like a front view, and the b looks like a side view. perfectly engineered!"

"""Oh, he's so immature."" - boring people talking about fun people"

"Why did the man sleep under the tractor? Because he wanted to wake up oily."

"I've looked all over the Google and ""fuck you sideways"" is not French for anything, Sir."

"What is the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? Hockey players shower after three periods.."

"Why did the baker have smelly hands? Because he needed a poo."

"A young wife was dying... She called her husband and said, ""Gary, I have a confession: I've been unfaithful."" Gary answered, ""I know. That's why I poisoned you."""

"Joke I prefer my scotch the same as my women...16 years old and mixed up with coke"