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Joke of the Day

"Duct Tape is a lot like The Force It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together."

"How does every racist joke start? [looks over both shoulders]...."

"Why you don't ask grandma sex questions I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bellows ! Bellows who ? Bellows me some money can I have it please !"

"I almost had to fight someone today after they hit me with a stick, but he walked away like he didn't even see me."

"Why was Jesus I such good shape? Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit."

"""My homework ate my dog"" -student in python breeding class"

"I'd name my daughter Roxanne. I'd play the song for her all the time so she knows she doesn't HAVE to be a prostitute."

"A smart Halloween costume would be an angel costume because if you died, you could just sneak your way into heaven & be like ""I'm back yall"""

"A healthy man in a room of paraplegic people is outstanding"