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Joke of the Day

"A smart Halloween costume would be an angel costume because if you died, you could just sneak your way into heaven & be like ""I'm back yall"""

"Man goes to a restaurant Sits down at a table by himself and places a calender in front of him. The waiter ask why the calendar? Man replies ""I didn't want to be alone so I brought some dates"""

"9 guys walk into a gay bar... They don't come out."

"A heartwarming conversation between a son and his father. Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out."

"Every time I consider being healthy, I remember pizza."

"I feel like I've had this mustard before...... it must be Dijon Vu"

"""Honey"" said Mrs. Beldon to her husband ""Lester's teacher says he ought to have an encyclopedia."" ""Encyclopedia my eye!"" exclaimed Beldon. ""Let him walk to school like I did."""

"I miss you like... post your funny ending! let's see what we get..."

"Me: ""I mean, how can Harry Potter be the best Quidditch Seeker when he's the only one with glasses?"" Librarian: ""Just pay your fine, Ma'am."""

"Hearing deteriorates as we get older. So why with every new year does the sound of someone eating become louder & more annoying?"