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Joke of the Day

"I'd name my daughter Roxanne. I'd play the song for her all the time so she knows she doesn't HAVE to be a prostitute."

"I made my first snowman today... It was so white it's already been nominated to Trump's Cabinet."

"Apparently ""Which one?"" wasn't the best answer when my gf's dad asked me ""What are your intentions with my daughter?"""

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Asian businessmen don't pay thousands of dollars to have a lentil on their face"

"By and large, most of my girlfriends have been fat lesbians."

"What happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your truck back, you get your house back, you get your girl back, and you get your dog back."

"On a long road trip.. When deciding whether to stop at a rest area, I always say, ""Speak now or forever hold your pee""."

"Marriage is an institution. So is the mental hospital."

"My wife told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt So I punched her in the face and fucked her twice. Har har har"

"What is Snoop Dogg's favorite weather? drizzle."