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Joke of the Day

"Toddler: I don't like you. *hits* Adult: I don't like you. *tracks your movements for the rest of your life*"

"The punchline was in the title Why did all the redditors downvote the joke?"

"Customer care: Your call is important to us, please hold on. Customer: *completes graduation* *gets a job* *gets married* *gets old* *dies*"

"My favorite response to someone asking how something works... ""Magic"" even when I do know how it works. Because Lazy"

"a cool magic trick woud be if a magiciam puts their hand in a hat & sombody wearin a hat in the audience sudenly feels a hand on their head"

"North Korea launched ICBM today Good news for them, it managed to make it out of Pyongyang this time"

"to the scum photoshopping bandanas on my wedding photos, STOP. my wife has a bad memory & is in tears, she thinks she married a bandana guy"

"What's Kermit the Frog's favorite song? ""Whib It"" by Devo."

"Instead of a DING DONG sound, I wish my doorbell would explain to the person how much I don't want to get off the couch."

"Do you know how many feminists it takes to change a light bulb? One, you asshole."