28744

Joke of the Day

"Survival Tip: When flipping off your wife behind her back... Make sure she's not standing in front of a mirror."

"A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas. The vet says: 'I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down.' The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: 'Because he's far too heavy.'"

"The doctor said to treat my daughter's scratch with alcohol, so I kissed it."

"Why did Victoria get fired? I don't know"

"What did the little acorn say when it got planted and grew up? Geometry."

"When life gives you melons, You might be dyslexic."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizzas didn't scream when Hitler put them in the oven."

"Fish sticks? Do you like fishdicks? Do you like to put fishsticks in your mouth? You're a gay fish."

"""I want u so badly"" - Scrabble players with a q in their rack."

"What bird can lift the most? A crane"