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Joke of the Day

"What did Douglas Adams say after he finished writing the first chapter of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Ah, I've finally put a dent in that book."

"My electric car is getting a service, so I have to drive an acoustic one."

"First they came for the verbs... First they came for the verbs, and I said nothing because verbing weirds language. Then they arrival for the nouns, and I speech nothing because I no verbs."

"[frantically pressing buttons on spaceship control panel] WHICH ONE IS FOR POPCORN"

"I only do yoga so I can hold my arms up long enough to get my hair in a ponytail."

"What do pennies and fat chicks have in common? Unless you're broke and desperate, they're not worth picking up."

"Most drug-sniffing dogs refuse to admit they have a problem"

"What do British nuclear engineers eat? Fission chips."

"Saw a cow jump over a barbed wire fence today... It was udder destruction."

"What did the Jewish pedophile say to the boy? Hey Kid, go easy on the candy! Probably been here before, I just thought it was hilarious for some reason."