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Joke of the Day

"[first day as aquarium guide] Me: & here's 8 snakes biting a soccer ball Guy: that's an octopus Me [sighs]: fine. 8 snakes biting an octopus"

"What do giraffes eat at 11am? Brunch."

"how did mario find a ghost? He used a luigi board."

"Why was the Windows PC broke? It ran out of cache."

"What do fish smoke? Seaweed"

"[Job Interview] Sir, it says here you're part of a small group of criminals that primarily kills interviewersoohhhhmygod"

"What is the worst animal std? Gatoraids"

"The minus sign tried to explain to the plus sign how multiplication works, ... ... but he only understood sum of it."

"I saw 300 lbs crammed into a pair of small yoga pants so now I understand how the Tardis on Dr. Who is real."

"[Ouija board] Spirits are you there? U R C U T E D O Y O U H A V E K I K *flips board*"