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Joke of the Day

"What is your favourite shaggy dog tale?"

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"What do you call a pair of eyeglasses that questions its surroundings? Skepticles."
"How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike ? They both have ornamental balls."
"I regularly have gold plaques and 1st place ribbons made up for my liver so it knows just how much I appreciate all it's hard work."
"Someone told me I was ""good people"" and I replied ""OMG you can hear them too?"""
"I'm the master at playing 'The floor is lava' *Lies on the couch*"
"What symphony is a pedophiles favorite? Mozarts' Flute in A minor"
"Rules for meeting a puppy: 1 be cool 2 pet it 3 do not steal it 4 stop running from the owner 5 put it down 6 this isn't worth jail time"
"Highway Driving 101: Left Lane: People in a hurry, People who can drive. Right Lane: Elderly People, Asians, Women, Dogs, Infants."
"Why did the Eskimo break up with his girlfriend? He just wasn't really Inuit..."