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Joke of the Day

"Rules for meeting a puppy: 1 be cool 2 pet it 3 do not steal it 4 stop running from the owner 5 put it down 6 this isn't worth jail time"

"Did you hear about the recent theft from the Louvre in Paris? Three paintings were stolen. The thieves took the Renoir to get the Monet to get their Van Gogh."

"My ex girlfriend.."

"What do computers eat when they get hungry? Chips."

"Little Johnny The teacher came up to Johnny's desk and asked can you tell me what separates you from a monkey. Johnny said with confidence ""the desk""."

"What's Gordon Ramsey's favorite film? IT'S FUCKING FROZEN!!"

"While at work ""You must love putin"" ""Why?"" ""Because your a rushin!"""

"Won't do that again Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call ""shotgun"" before boarding a plane."

"Girl, You're like my mom I ain't gonna fuck my mom you sick fuck"

"Why did the masturbating murderer turn himself in? He came to his senses."